How I found my mothership...

I have recently become very interested in law school.  It started with a casual conversation with a co-worker that had decided to retake the LSATs for his admission to law school next fall.

It was innocent enough.  He had no idea the can of worms he was opening.  He didn’t know that I had dreamed of being a lawyer when I was eight, that I would tell all my relatives at family parties that I would be a supreme court justice, that my amazing career in law would lead me to be the first woman president…WHAT??? It’s true.  I was that bold.

And so, he also had no idea that his taking the LSATs would inspire awaken feed the monster in me that lives off of competition and success. Especially in the intellectual arena.  I mean, hey…some people can throw a perfect spiral 70 yards down the field…I can study and pass tests…and argue mad points with insightful support and examples…

So, yesterday, I spent the day at the University of Chicago. After taking a train to Hyde Park, I arrived at the Admissions office excited to just be on campus.  There is always an energy that I can feel when ideas are being generated, spoken, argued, counter-argued–yes, I’m a geek and I’ll stop now–and the energy on this campus was palpable.  I was sent to a first year class–Elements of the Law.  And despite being directed to the wrong class at the right time (I walked into a class almost a full 1/2 hour after it began), I was truly directed to the RIGHT class at the RIGHT time.  The teacher was dynamic.  The students…well maybe still a little young…but I was sitting near a couple of thirty year olds and I’m glad, because at the end of class they STAYED and spoke with me about what they liked about their classes, their professors, the campus and the school over other school options.

Hyde Park itself is a drastic contrast of rich and poor, haves and have nots. But it is also a place of acceptance, ideas, revolution and accomplishment.  The campus itself has a contrast of old and new architecture and despite being in an urban setting, it had a quality of peace and tranquility.

I have a personal passion again.  I don’t know how long it’s been since that has happened.  I know, I have kids, and I love being their mother.  But long before their births, I was a person.  With dreams and passions and hopes and…well, part of her is back.

Part of that woman was lost long ago.  But, maybe, just maybe…she was only in hibernation.

And her mothership is calling her home.

I'm BAAAA-AAACK!

Hi. I’ve been gone awhile. My life is changing. Quite drastically, I might add. But for tonight, I just had to write. I HAD to WRITE. And THIS came out… enjoy…

YOU

remind me of the possibilities of what never was

and yet what could be

you cause me to recollect days when days would never end

when dreams would never end

when love would never end

and because of you these thoughts will never end

you mention that love is a battlefield and your scars are wounds too deep to forget

i want to help you forget

because you help me to remember that i am capable of existing

that love is capable of existing

that hope is capable of existing

yet you are tentative

and to this i will be sensitive

but still have faith

because despite your tentative

i am representative of love deferred

not to be argumentative but my interests you’ve spurred

we sit

we read our favorite poets and words slip off our tongues

falling from lips to ears

as if whispered over pillows and nothingness

and i can only imagine that we are not the only two people sharing this moment

i don’t want to be the only two people sharing this moment

yet despite being surrounded by people no one else is sharing this moment

without touching me your words caresses every hurt every wound every ache away

your eyes look deeper into my nothingness than anyone has ever looked

they were afraid to look

i would not let them look

the still of my soul as you stir it comforts me

and i am reminded of the possibilities of what never was

and yet what could be