I have the man of my dreams. The job of my dreams. Happy and successful children. My health. A roof over my head.
Yet...I keep GETTING THINGS WRONG! I fight with my husband over dumb things. I screw up my money over poor planning. I yell at my kids. I could be a better friend to most people.
I feel like I am the person standing in front of the 1,000 piece puzzle. And I am cramming the corner piece right into the center of said puzzle.
I can't figure it out. I am sure hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars on some sort of psycho-analyst-therapeutic-doctor could help me figure it out. But see earlier where I state the money issues? Well, yeah.
So, here I sit in front of my computer. I have all the ingredients from my 365 days of Intentional Happiness project...the will, the computer, the internet access...
I know. I am a smart ass.
What is a human becoming, you might ask? Well, years ago while I attended a Catholic (all girls!) high school, I learned many lessons...one of the best of which is that I am a human becoming (and not a human being).
A human being, using the ideas of grammar, insinuates that we are in a static state...that WHAT WE ARE MUST BE... or even more so, that what we are is what we are stuck being. That it just IS. But, you can argue, that is wrong. It should be wrong. If we are broken, why must we accept that? If we have been hurt, why can't we outlive that pain? If we have been shattered into a million pieces emotionally by our last relationship...shouldn't we be able to grow, heal and move on to bigger and better things and people?
The answer has to be a resounding YES.
So, we must be human BECOMINGS. As in...whatever I am to be (the final step of our journey) I am on my way there...I am BECOMING that BEING.
I am using this premise...and the ideas of change, of 12 steps, of acceptance, of letting go, of healing and of planning (!) to BECOME this better human.
Hence...365 days of a HUMAN BECOMING project.
I will commit today. Day one. Admitting that I am BECOMING A BETTER HUMAN.
That is a powerful thing. Say it out loud. You have to have confidence. You have to truly know how unique and amazing you are to say that. If you don't believe it today, you sure as hell are going to believe it at the end of these 365 days.
I know I will.