We all start wee babes, naked and exposed to the world. Most of us enter alone (yes, our mother is there; yes, some of you are members of multiple birth siblings). And we learn to sit up, to crawl, to walk and then to run.
And throughout our many years, we fall down.
I have fallen down quite a few times over the past six years. So much so that I have become numb to some of the pain of the bruises, the skinned knees, the broken bones...figuratively speaking, of course.
The last time I picked myself up and dusted myself off was this past August.
While the most amazing opportunity presented itself to me in the form of a promotion and a move to California, the man that I had considered to be my significant other backed out. From the move. Two days before I boarded a plane. Using a one way ticket. To start a new life.
Two days before.
I had no time to think about it. To mourn this loss. To actually reflect on the changes that this would bring about to my (and my children's) life.
And so, August 7th of 2011, my life changed. I didn't question why, I just went with it. From the excitement of my boys' first day of school, to the pleasure on their faces when they rode their bikes to school (we only live four blocks away!), to the joy of riding their ripsticks outside with shorts on on New Year's Eve, I went with it...and enjoyed myself as well.
But come this past November, I found myself craving to share in my happiness with someone else. Someone for me. I was not looking for someone to take care of my kids, to pay my bills...I was looking for someone who could take what I had accomplished in my life and bring that life to a new level.
After twenty something first dates (yes, that many) with so many INTERESTING people (not really, I'm lying), I had a first date that was life changing.
A first date that opened my eyes to see the possibilities of love, of partnership, of mutual respect, of easy.
I met a man that makes me feel like I am a prize. That uses words like "beautiful" and "cute" and "funny" and "smart" and "hot" when talking to me about me. I met a man that is emotionally available and when I am having a hissy fit (what? you don't have those?) says, "Oh my god you are so cute and so passionate about us" and "I love when you get feisty."
Yes. I met a man that thinks my flaws are cute. He has a soft spot for me. He sees where I am broken and he is willing to say I can wait for that to heal...and he kisses that spot to help the mending along.
He has established firmly that he is going nowhere (loyalty) and that he has been hurt in the past (vulnerability) and that with me, he is a better man (honesty).
He is sexy, too. From the lines around his eyes, the smile on his face, the strength I feel in his hugs and the safety I feel when he tells me to rest my head on his chest...I am in love with the whole package.
We are quite a match. Our analogies for life and love are mutually expressed through movies, music and baseball. He doesn't know, but I've kept a list of all of our "Songs of the Day" (we have sent one to each other almost every day since the first week we were together). We are sarcastic, incorrigible and irreverent. We challenge each other to think, act and feel in the moment.
I am in love.
And so, a new journey begins...