Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I've Been a Bad, Bad Girl


I’ve been a bad, bad girl… A line from a song, I think. Fiona Apple? Yeah, probably. I could go and check, I am on an iPhone, but this is flowing. Stream of consciousness.

I haven’t been online. I have grown to see I have a similar online personality that I have…offline. IRL. Whatever you want to call it. I tend to stay on the sidelines. Where one can watch things happen. Where one can stay safe from getting hurt.

I really don’t have a circle. Not irl. Not online. I mean, the online girls, I see them tweet. “I text you.” “I called you did you get my vm?” “I just emailed. That one thing you wanted. Let me know if you like it.”

All private thougts, exchanges, conversations. All a deeper connection. All for people NOT sitting on the sidelines.

Why am I this hermit? Why di I regress into home/no posts/lurking/watching? Am I waiting? And what am I waiting for?

BlogHer 10 in NYC is coming up quickly. And I don’t know where I am going to fit in. If I will. If I can.

Sometimes, I think I am unfixable.

1 comment:

  1. 2 Responses to “I’ve been a bad, bad girl”

    “unfixable” implies there is something needing to be fixed. To which I say “Ha!”
    For reals and for serious though, while I get that feeling, (who hasn’t felt that at some point?) I think you will have a metric fuckton of fun at BH10. And I think that you won’t just fit in, I think you’ll stand out. (in the good way, not the WTF was that? way)
    thepsychobabble said this on April 14, 2010 at 5:33 pm | Reply

    You will do fine! I don’t think you need to be fixed. Just be yourself and you will be alright!
    Kim @ It's A Beautiful Wreck said this on April 15, 2010 at 9:12 am | Reply

    ReplyDelete