Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I've Been a Bad, Bad Girl
I’ve been a bad, bad girl… A line from a song, I think. Fiona Apple? Yeah, probably. I could go and check, I am on an iPhone, but this is flowing. Stream of consciousness.
I haven’t been online. I have grown to see I have a similar online personality that I have…offline. IRL. Whatever you want to call it. I tend to stay on the sidelines. Where one can watch things happen. Where one can stay safe from getting hurt.
I really don’t have a circle. Not irl. Not online. I mean, the online girls, I see them tweet. “I text you.” “I called you did you get my vm?” “I just emailed. That one thing you wanted. Let me know if you like it.”
All private thougts, exchanges, conversations. All a deeper connection. All for people NOT sitting on the sidelines.
Why am I this hermit? Why di I regress into home/no posts/lurking/watching? Am I waiting? And what am I waiting for?
BlogHer 10 in NYC is coming up quickly. And I don’t know where I am going to fit in. If I will. If I can.
Sometimes, I think I am unfixable.