Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Did You Know, I Love to Flow?

Some of you may be familiar with different types of poetry.  I grew up a dramatic melodramatic girl, writing poetry–of all kinds.  Because, when I wasn’t day dreaming that I was the love child of Jimi Hendrix (how cool am I if I am???), I was the descendent of Edgar Allan Poe, or John Keats, or Pablo Neruda… Or I would have been the BFF of Sylvia Plath… I TOLD YOU MELODRAMATIC!!!

Where I grew up, and for the most part, where I went to college, poetry had rhythm.  It rhymed (sometimes), it could be measured (most of the time) or it was free form.  Until I began to teach, I had no idea that poetry could be FLOETRY.  Or slam.

Most of my teaching experience is in urban education.  Lower socio-economic standing, mostly students of color, the deepest, most richly worded, talented and brilliant minds I ever met were in these schools.  My students introduced me to flow.  They encouraged me to slam.  It was a way to share who I was in a raw, organic form.

And now, on this tired Tuesday on which I’ve given nebulizer treatments, gone on doctor visits and picked up steroid scripts, I feel exhausted–and apparently uninhibited enough to share this with you.

I wrote this about two years ago.  I hope you don’t mind that I share my past with you.  Sometimes, it helps me heal.  It helps me close doors.  And in this case, it is also opening a window into my soul.

Heart Burning Emptiness’ Echoes

Heart burning emptiness’ echoes
Hollow spaces in cavernous places lost long ago
lost long ago
lost long ago
Even though I ask I guess I’ll never know
What moves your mountains and parts your seas
What emotions and touches bring you to your knees
And love sick
Desperate for movement from you
I drop to my knees, thinking yes, I know this will please
Never your tease, I always aim to ease
Easily takin the bones you throw
Never complainin bout how low I will go
To fill the depths of dark lovely things within
You swim the shallow end
I am lookin for a man interested in deep sea divin
Your toe sits at edge of pool, afraid of possible shivers up spine
But I don’t know why when the temp is mine and
…I run hot
But I allow you to make a fool of me
Waitin for days that might never come
Days away
You don’t look in my eyes but with
Lack of touch and louder than words you send me a message
I was a mistake
And your eyes are focused on hindsight
Maybe at end of tunnel you see light
But I see dark
I see lonely and tears and one
All along I have been fallin
And you have been trippin
But now pain is risin
It is dull but it throbs from deep within
We made love but it is just an action
And you don’t possess the emotion
You are lying to either me
Or you
I wish I had the strength to do
What needs to be done but I don’t
I carry on with life
Sometimes it hurts to breath
I can’t stand to breath
I don’t want to breath
But I am breathing, my heart is beating
For three now
And half of my two are part of you
My tears release my pain, the pain of my love
But I am filled with so much love
That I fear I may never stop crying until
I am swimming…or drowning
In this salty body

***If ten people read this and request me to, I will record this and post the audio clip of how this sounds performed…TEN PEOPLE…which, of course, I say ten because I am sure ten separate and different people don’t even read this little bloggy***

1 comment:

  1. 8 Responses to “Tired Tuesday: Did You Know, I Love to Flow?”

    I will be the first requester (requestee?)
    ThePsychobabble said this on August 12, 2009 at 7:55 am | Reply

    Very nice flow girl.
    And I…will also request.
    Lynette said this on August 12, 2009 at 1:45 pm | Reply

    that makes me #3… 7 more to go
    Karen said this on August 12, 2009 at 5:22 pm | Reply

    count me on the list of 10! i LOVE it. you are awesome.
    becky said this on August 13, 2009 at 8:57 am | Reply

    Beautiful, I would love to “hear” it also.
    Vixen said this on August 13, 2009 at 1:57 pm | Reply

    I think it sounded pretty well in my head but I’d rather hear it from you – makes me #5
    Jasmin said this on August 13, 2009 at 1:58 pm | Reply

    i’m seven
    Sara @heartmychloe said this on August 14, 2009 at 1:59 pm | Reply

    TruthODare said this on August 16, 2009 at 10:09 pm | Reply