Sunday, August 23, 2009

Believe in Me

Maybe I will not fit your mold of the mommy blogger, but there has been enough talk out there as of late…there is no clear definition of the mommy blogger.

I write to clear my mind. I write to find myself after I lose myself throughout a busy day of employee and mommy and significant other.  Here is another one of my pieces. Enjoy.
Do you believe in me?
Cause right now I’m walkin a fine line
steppin through the mines in my mind
Fallin behind
Because of lack of time and
Feelin like 999
pieces of a puzzle
What happened to that 1000th piece?
You know, the piece that ends up forever lodged under the baseboard of floors
Or lost in shores
Of couch and cushion.
I ain’t pushin
no drugs or crazy talk sh*t
But I just ain’t havin this one bit
I am tired
I lost a part of me
I am a paranoid perfectionist
And that missing piece is drivin me crazy
I am cravin to be whole and this is just bad, bad, bad
And not bad meaning good, but bad meaning bad
Do you believe in me too?
Unending litany of questions
I am looking for your suggestions
On the who, the where, the why, the what
Trying to find out how to get where you got
Forgetting that you are you and I am not
Because of lack of time and
Getting the sh*t kicked out of me in my prime
And how many mountains does a B*tch gotta climb
To make a dime without committing a crime
Your crime is an offense against nature and SHEEEEET
There ain’t no judge and jury that convicts for that
On this…
And that’s okay because it ain’t you that should define my worth
My worth is that of ancestors that I have not forgotten
Picking Peruvian cotton in mountains that have stood longer
and stronger
and withstood the test of time
Sharp peaks and fertile valleys
Not mountain, but woman, who you shove into dark alleys
Alleys where you learned to love to hate
Alleys that you negate
Whatchou mean that you know not of what I speak?
Watch what you say before you end up with tongue in cheek
You have forgotten that you have tried to prey on the weak
One day I may decide to forgive you for your mean streak
But I cannot forget that with my life away you tried to sneak
Even deeper I cannot forgive myself that I allowed you to make me feel bleak
Do you believe in me too?
Fcuk that
I believe in me and
With each blow with which you try to defeat
Your indiscreet deceit will only lead you into a retreat
As I deplete you arsenal of hate and misery
I aim to march on to a victory
A meeting with my destiny
I am the warrior Indian princess from deep
Within the womb of the mountain
And I give rebirth unto myself
And into my own soul I will delve
For the strength, the courage, the wisdom
That you do not hold
That you do not hold
But I do because I am that bold
I am the bold
I am a child of the sun
I am fire and light
And will succeed despite your spite
And green eyes shooting daggers of wrong, not right
For if you were right I would lie down dead right here
But now I stand without fear
For you I will not shed a tear
And now I hear the ding, ding
Start the match
I will rise from my corner of the ring
And from every mountain top you will hear me sing
A call of victory, victory, victory
I will not wallow in your misery, misery, misery
And now I am that bad, if you would
And not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good

1 comment:

  1. 2 Responses to “Believe in Me”

    Oh, my dear, you are an amazing and spectacular woman, and I can’t wait to finally meet up.
    Sara @heartmychloe said this on August 23, 2009 at 11:39 am | Reply

    You rock, lady! Glad you got your post up!
    laprimera said this on August 23, 2009 at 3:54 pm | Reply