At four am this morning, I had a random thought. THought starts with TH like THursday. THat would make for a good
THitle title for my blog today. And, I might have some material for THat.
This may be quite an eclectic collection of thoughts and ideas. Please continue at your own risk.
1. If I spent as much time feeling confident about my abilities as I do feeling diffident, I would probably run the world. Or at least my own company. I waste A LOT of time worrying and being paranoid that I am not good enough. That's bullshit! Why do I do that to myself? I have a great education (BS and M.Ed) and I'm intelligent. But, in the area of confidence, MAN, I'm an IDIOT!
2. I worry too much. I worry about work, home, each child, my weight, my looks, my s/o, the weather, what I'm eating, what I'm not eating, if I blogged, if I haven't blogged. Holy CRAP! I think WAY too much and it's no wonder that I have no confidence because I'm always worrying. There's no time left in my day for confidence with how worry has been booked into my schedule.
3. I need to dust more often. Okay, that's a lie. I'm actually laughing as I type this. I need to START dusting. I can say with full confidence (ohmigosh. I DO have SOME confidence!) that since we moved into this house a year and a half ago, I have not dusted. Other people drive cars with "Save the Whales" bumper stickers. I drive with "Save the Dust Bunnies" bumper stickers. What? They are not extinct, possibly endangered, however I have a wild reserve for them under my couches, beds, fridge and televisions. Don't criticize. It allows me to file for tax-exempt status.
4. Sometimes I regret that I am no longer in the professional field for which I am "degreed." And, while I miss teaching and administration, I don't miss having to bring work home. I DO, however, miss the other half of my salary. *sigh*
5. I am a fiercely loyal and dedicated friend. I am not good at making friends, though. I want people in my inner circle but I am afraid to let people into it. Therefore, my BFF is my sister, Lana Banana (pronounced LAH-nah bah-NAH-nah, not how one normally says "banana"). And now I live like 50 miles from here which is far, but not far. But far enough that I don't see her that often.
6. The best thing that ever happened to me is becoming a mom. HOWEVER, I have to admit that the COOLEST thing that ever happened to me is having twins. They are amazing. It's crazy to watch the two of them go at it...LOVE/hate relationship times 1,000,000,000. As a twin mommy, I feel like I have been given a privilege to be involved in their existence.
7. The Thinker is a lot like I am now, as a person. Mama's Boy is a lot like I was as a child. I feel bad for The Thinker.
8. My sister and I are hysterical together. She's brutally mean in a funny and honest way. My mom
hates HATES LOATHES when we get along. Probably because she's often the brunt of our humor OR because she doesn't understand it. I want to write a screenplay with my sissy because it'd be worth ka-jillions of dollars and we'd be stars because it'd be so funny and everyone would love it.
9. It's really quiet in my house right now. That never happens unless it's the middle of the night.
10. I need to wash clothes. Badly. No, seriously. I'm screwed if it's not warm outside today because all the twins have left clean is shorts.
12. I'm doing something completely selfish by getting myself the new iPhone 3GS. I'm usually completely selfless when it comes to money and how we spend it as a family. But, as I work for Fruit, I feel like I should get to share in this excitement of a new product launch and be that fangirl that I am and upgrade the used Original iPhone that I first had (used as in not mine from first day of purchase and I bought it from someone else) to this one. DammitIdeserveit. I think s/o probably thinks otherwise (and is probably a little jeally. But, I'm sticking to my guns. I'm getting that phone tomorrow!
13. If you are reading this right now, Hi!
14. I told you this would be random.
15. It's thundering right now. That real, deep, guttural thunder. The kind that lasts 15 seconds, sounding impending but never ending with the crack of lightning. I like that kind of thunder.
16. When I was a little girl, my grandma told me that thunder and lightning was the angels up in heaven bowling. I like that.
17. I miss my grandma.
18. I am the oldest child of four girls. I gave birth to four boys.
19. Northwestern University is totally overrated. I mean, come on...I graduated from there.
20. I went to an all girls high school. I loved it and wouldn't trade that for anything. Even though I'm 33, when I see our old rival high school (which, when I was growing up, wasn't often because they were south side chicagoland, but is, as of late, often since I now reside in the south side suburbs), I wanna say shit like, "Oh, you go to McAuley...hmph..."
Okay. My alarm just went off and I'm supposed to get up and get ready for work. Hope you enjoy your day!