***This draft was started on June 16, 2009. I'm finishing it today, June 21, 2009, in honor of Father's Day.
It's about my children's father.***
Having a significant other that is on call for work 24-7 can be a real drag. Example: He works. He left at 4 am. He's not home until 7:30 pm. He gets ten hours off until he might get called again. Maybe he gets a day off (of course, I'll be at work myself). Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he'll be at home for those fleeting moments in the morning when I can come to the edge of our bed and give him a peck, "Muah. Bye, babe!" Then, he gets called to work. Probably 12 pm or 1 or 2 or 3 pm...drag. Bummer. Cuz now he probably won't be home until well after 10 pm.
For example, tonight.
He worked yesterday. Gone by the time I woke up. He worked today. Came home to an empty house. Still not here. Just me, house quiet except for the sounds of my fingers gliding over the keys...
And now. Today is Father's Day. A day to celebrate the amazing men of your life. The fathers, father figures, godfathers, grandfathers, uncles, teachers, coaches, male role models that have influenced you, your life, your path, your dreams. Myself, I have my father. My American Father (what my sissy Banana calls him). He is, for lack of space and time and will to speak about it, our second chance at a great dad. Latin dad didn't do such a hot job. American dad is amazing. I'm a lot like him, despite not sharing his chromosomes. I've learned that blood and genes cannot make up for time and love and care.
My children are blessed to have my s/o. Their dad, Eric, is amazing. He spoils them with kisses (oh daddy, not the itchies! only when he's not shaved in a couple days), hugs, love.
But he works on call. So, some days are very hard for us. Especially when, as we are driving up to the house, The Thinker notices that daddy's car is not there..."Oh, Mom! Is Daddy at work...again?!?!!"
We were WALKING out the door today to go to the skating rink when lo and behold, his phone ring. "Railroad." Just the sight of his company's name popping up on his phone screen drives me batty. Why! Why today???!!? Why. RIGHT. NOW.
I guess it's okay. I mean, I guess it's actually GREAT and MARVELOUS and STUPENDOUS that he has a job and is not in jeopardy of losing it.
But there are just so many moments! SO much that is missed! I hate not being able to PLAN. I hate that things are never really solidified. I hate that he can be scooped away at a moments' notice.
I hate that it happened today, Father's Day, our day to celebrate him and all his daddiness. But, I'm still thankful that he is my children's father. And, he'd climb mountains and swim oceans and walk over coal to be with his children.
He's a true caretaker though. A roof -over-your-head,food-on-the-table kinda guy. So if he's gonna climb, swim or walk, he'd prefer to do at after he's made the money to pay the bills. And, I'm not afraid to say it, that makes me feel safe and, hey, it's kinda sexy, too.