was something that my own mom actually tried to TALK ME OUT OF... The conversation went something like this...
Me: R. and I are trying to get pregnant!!! Maybe you'll be a grandma again soon!!! Maybe I'll be a mom soon!!!
Mom: Why would you do something like that? Being a mother makes you miserable...
Me: What?!?!?! Mom, YOU are MY mom...
After much discussion and push back from me, my mother settled on this little pearl of wisdom, "A mother is only as happy as her most unhappy child."
And, five years and two kids later...I see her point. But I raise a new one as well...
"A happy mother makes for happy children, and happy children make for a happy mother."
Ok. So it's not earth shattering. It's not uber profound. But, it's so simple it's almost easy to forget.
I actually knew when it was time to leave one job I had a couple years back when it affected my parenting skills. I was miserable. I was on edge most of my work day, terrorized by the thought of disappointing a single boss/colleague/student/parent, drained by the daily emotional and psychological stamina I had to keep up to make it back home at night. So, being the marvelous (oh wait, or is that marvelously idiotic) person tha I am, I thought the money would somehow make it up to my family that by the end of the day I was a tired, angry and sometimes depressed mother/wife that could not maintain a shred of decency to her own family. Maybe I exaggerate but it had gotten bad enough. I started looking for another job. Two jobs later and one happy momma, and now I see such a change in my children. I mean, they were happy before...people said it quite often...but, now?!?!
I come home from work in a good mood. I didn't say left for work, left home...that's right...I LEAVE work after EIGHT HOURS and I am happy!!! My kids are happy. They are happy and that makes ME...YUP, YOU GUESSED IT...HAPPY!!!
Small example: I came home from work today. My children, outside and playing, come up to me and want to restart our sidewalk chalk art from the other day. I retrieve the chalk. We're all giggles. It's like we have a secret and no one else knows about it. Stairs to our home are COVERED in chalk. A thick, chalky, dusty layer of chalk. The stairway is completed and we are SO PROUD of ourselves. No one does chalk art like we do chalk art...
Enter dad. Hours later. A little p.o.'d because there is chalk dust all up and down the floor in our living room, which he just cleaned. He told me he was annoyed, but I didn't think much of it, mostly because, hey...it's just a little dust on the floor...at least it's pretty and colorful dust, right?!?!?! Minutes later, I notice water puddles forming on the side of the house...I glance around and B-boy is at the front of our walk up to our home near the public sidewalk, mouth open and dropped to the ground and eyes bright and popped out of his head. Dad stands just feet away, hose already off and laying on ground...resting after it's successful erasure of aforementioned chalk art.
Being of dramatic (overly) mind and body, I run to B-boy and embrace him. "Oh baby" say I..."I'm sooooo sorry." Said child, being of same (overly dramatic) mind and body, practicallt goes limp in my arms. Then whispers to me with a devilish smile and mischief in his eyes, "Mom, say to dad he is soooo mean." And I do. We giggle. Dad begins to apologize profusely. I whisper to B-boy, "Tell Daddy he made us sooo sad." B-boy adds his own flair, We're so sad and you're making us cry...why, daddy, why?" At this point, sucker daddy is roped in and explains he didn't know how much it meant...shouldn't have done without talking to us... All the while, B-boy and I are giggling up a storm together, enjoying our own private joke together.
Ok. Maybe not a good example...maybe, yes?
But, to me, just a sign of how happy chidren+happy momma=happy stories.
Thank God they're still little. That reminds of something else my mom told me...little kids, little problems. Big kids, BIG PROBLEMS... LOL.
~A wild momma thing